The ridiculousness of her action catches him by surprise, and he cannot help but let out a short laugh at the way her cheeks are stuffed by the crammed pastry. The smile brought by the laugh lingers as he starts to respond, “Sadie, that’s not what I meant and you know it. Please don’t choke.” Benjiro reaches with his free hand to get her drink and offer it to her. Being stared down however, he falters and his smile disappears. It is so hard to deny her, especially when their relationship has been built on a foundation of honesty and trust.
Finding his resolve to not dump his personal conflict on her weakening, Benjiro reaches his hand up to rub at his face with fingers disturbing his hair to let the longer strands cast over his forehead and one eye. As his fingers trail off a cheek, he looks unusually weary under the faint shadow from his dark hair. His voice comes out much quieter when he finally broaches the matter reluctantly as he looks back towards Sadie without meeting her gaze, “...I don’t know how to tell you what happened without making you worry more. Especially now that I have had a chance to understand it better myself.”
It's pretty tricky to pout when imitating a food-hoarding hamster but Sadie nearly manages it before she swallow with a wince, perhaps that was a bit too much, and washes it down with the drink Ben offers her.
"It will definitely make me worry more," At least it will if the effort that Ben has gone to to dance around the subject is anything to go by, "But it's worth it so that I can understand a bit more of you, I want to be able to support you as best I can." Her wide eyes and attentive gaze emphasise the kind and patient tone.
As they have been talking, Bunsen had finished his apple slices and curled up between Benjiro’s feet with one side pressed to an ankle. Snuggled with two, he listens as Sadie patiently explains her intention. His gaze lifts the final tick upward to meet her eyes, and with a slower breath in and out, he decides to talk about the unhealed wounds, “...okay.” He sets her drink aside when she finishes, and wraps both his arms around her to ground himself.
“The reason I faltered talking to Emiko has to do with my mother...” he begins as a warning to Sadie. Leaning his head back against the wall behind them, he continues, “You know I was never really close with her, and she kept things to herself. It was after we moved to Japan that my grandmother took me with her to visit a grave. It belonged to my uncle. I hadn’t even been aware my mother had a brother. ...I was informed that he took his life after he behaved in a way that was not condoned by the family. ...family honor and all that.”
He pauses as he has to swallow, the act taking more effort than usual. “The last time I spoke with my parents, my mother told me not to return home. But...she also told me to remember my uncle.”
“That day, I was at the cliff... I won’t lie and tell you I did not consider her directive. But the life I have here in Mossgate, the life I have with you, gave me all the reason I needed to defy it.”
Sadie's arms wrap around Ben almost automatically as her pulls her into a close embrace and she tucks herself in even closer to Ben as she hears the way his heart hammers against his chest. At the first mention of his mother Sadie's ears jolt up in alarm and she gives him a squeeze in where her arms are wrapped around him as she wrestles down the urge to scoff.
It's a good job she doesn't, instead all she can do is stare up at Ben as he becomes visibly more upset. Her grip on him tightens in sympathy, her pupils blowing wide until its almost impossible to see the iris as she gets more and more upset for her boyfriend. And then Ben final tells her what his mother's last words to him were and she very quickly has to drop her hands from around him as her claws slide out, her pupils shrink to near pinpricks and her ears flatter completely against her head. She can feel herself shake as her entire body tenses and she bites down on her lip to hault the growl that is starting to rumble in her chest.
Fury. Fury enough to rend her speechless.
Sadie drops her head onto Ben's chest with a thunk and takes some deep breaths and trys to think calming thoughts before she speaks.
His eyes blink at the traces of tears in his eyes as he lifts his head from the wall when her hands move away. Her reaction is more intense than he had anticipated, catching a glimpse of her claws as she starts to shake with pure tension. Concern for her flares, but her head drops against his chest as she starts to exercise restraint with conscious acts of breathing.
“...Sadie,” his voice full of worry and a little hurt to see that his pain is causing her such distress. He adjusts his arms around her to lay one hand behind her head with fingers split to avoid covering her flattened ears to hold that arm vertical on her back with the other crossing diagonally to wrap his hand at her shoulder. He squeezes her in the hug, the strength of it encroaching on uncomfortable before it wanes to a supportive firmness. Bowing his head to touch his chin at her hair he whispers, “She left my life... Don’t let her twist you up.” Legally, he belongs with Agatha and Rosemary now. The only way his mother could hurt him further would be through his sister, and the woman cares for Emiko far more.
Ben's embrace may boarder on uncomfortable but the pressure does make Sadie go boneless against Ben's chest. His touch near Sadie's sensitive ears unstick then from their plastered position against her skull and coaxes Sadie's budding growl into a purr.
"I know that," Sadie mumbles into his chest, "But for her to even say that to you, to insinuate what she did, that you had to experience that. No normal person would ever say something like that! You deserve so much better than that!"
That pressure remains steady until her ears have relaxed away from her skull, and he slowly eases off to a softer degree. He doesn’t want to let go, but he does want to allow her the ability to move in his embrace. His fingers start to stroke in the back of her hair as he hears the purring begin.
“When you came to get me with Walter and Sam, I realized that I have so much more than I ever thought I should,” he responds with his voice kept to a whisper for her comfort. That dawning realization was why he had apologized so fervently at the cliff.
“I won’t defend her, but I do think I understand. My grandmother had also told me how much my mother idolized her brother... My mother had already lost something precious to the tolerance for suicide. It would be hard not to double down.” Especially with a son she could never really love.
His fingers continue to move with that reinforcement, parting the strands only to fall back together with every pass.
“Me too...” he says in the shared sentiment, grateful to still be here. “I’m not going anywhere, Sadie. I love you.” Benjiro returns the squeeze more gently than the last, and he plants a kiss to the top of her head.
“Thank you for caring so much.” The sentiment needed to be voiced. Sadie had followed up with him over something that could have been mistaken as more trivial.
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warped_replica) wrote2018-07-27 06:58 pm
no subject
Finding his resolve to not dump his personal conflict on her weakening, Benjiro reaches his hand up to rub at his face with fingers disturbing his hair to let the longer strands cast over his forehead and one eye. As his fingers trail off a cheek, he looks unusually weary under the faint shadow from his dark hair. His voice comes out much quieter when he finally broaches the matter reluctantly as he looks back towards Sadie without meeting her gaze, “...I don’t know how to tell you what happened without making you worry more. Especially now that I have had a chance to understand it better myself.”
no subject
"It will definitely make me worry more," At least it will if the effort that Ben has gone to to dance around the subject is anything to go by, "But it's worth it so that I can understand a bit more of you, I want to be able to support you as best I can." Her wide eyes and attentive gaze emphasise the kind and patient tone.
no subject
“The reason I faltered talking to Emiko has to do with my mother...” he begins as a warning to Sadie. Leaning his head back against the wall behind them, he continues, “You know I was never really close with her, and she kept things to herself. It was after we moved to Japan that my grandmother took me with her to visit a grave. It belonged to my uncle. I hadn’t even been aware my mother had a brother. ...I was informed that he took his life after he behaved in a way that was not condoned by the family. ...family honor and all that.”
He pauses as he has to swallow, the act taking more effort than usual. “The last time I spoke with my parents, my mother told me not to return home. But...she also told me to remember my uncle.”
“That day, I was at the cliff... I won’t lie and tell you I did not consider her directive. But the life I have here in Mossgate, the life I have with you, gave me all the reason I needed to defy it.”
Fell asleep in the middle of tags again
It's a good job she doesn't, instead all she can do is stare up at Ben as he becomes visibly more upset. Her grip on him tightens in sympathy, her pupils blowing wide until its almost impossible to see the iris as she gets more and more upset for her boyfriend. And then Ben final tells her what his mother's last words to him were and she very quickly has to drop her hands from around him as her claws slide out, her pupils shrink to near pinpricks and her ears flatter completely against her head. She can feel herself shake as her entire body tenses and she bites down on her lip to hault the growl that is starting to rumble in her chest.
Fury. Fury enough to rend her speechless.
Sadie drops her head onto Ben's chest with a thunk and takes some deep breaths and trys to think calming thoughts before she speaks.
I do that waaaay too often
“...Sadie,” his voice full of worry and a little hurt to see that his pain is causing her such distress. He adjusts his arms around her to lay one hand behind her head with fingers split to avoid covering her flattened ears to hold that arm vertical on her back with the other crossing diagonally to wrap his hand at her shoulder. He squeezes her in the hug, the strength of it encroaching on uncomfortable before it wanes to a supportive firmness. Bowing his head to touch his chin at her hair he whispers, “She left my life... Don’t let her twist you up.” Legally, he belongs with Agatha and Rosemary now. The only way his mother could hurt him further would be through his sister, and the woman cares for Emiko far more.
no subject
"I know that," Sadie mumbles into his chest, "But for her to even say that to you, to insinuate what she did, that you had to experience that. No normal person would ever say something like that! You deserve so much better than that!"
no subject
“When you came to get me with Walter and Sam, I realized that I have so much more than I ever thought I should,” he responds with his voice kept to a whisper for her comfort. That dawning realization was why he had apologized so fervently at the cliff.
“I won’t defend her, but I do think I understand. My grandmother had also told me how much my mother idolized her brother... My mother had already lost something precious to the tolerance for suicide. It would be hard not to double down.” Especially with a son she could never really love.
no subject
"I'm glad your here. I can't imagine not having you in my life." Her claws fully sheath and so she gives him another tight squeeze.
no subject
“Me too...” he says in the shared sentiment, grateful to still be here. “I’m not going anywhere, Sadie. I love you.” Benjiro returns the squeeze more gently than the last, and he plants a kiss to the top of her head.
“Thank you for caring so much.” The sentiment needed to be voiced. Sadie had followed up with him over something that could have been mistaken as more trivial.